My Taoist Journey: The Hollistic Jade Egg Practise AKA Vaginal Kung Fu!

Lets talk about the holistic jade egg practise. This and the Iron crotch for men is probably the most wondered about and even joked about part of the Taoist practise, whether out of curious unknowing, ignorance or just plain closed mindedness.


I cant say much for the iron crotch practise, the men’s version of course, I just don’t have the parts or that much information yet from the men I know who do use this practise, maybe I will gather some info and write something for you fellas at a later date but for now I shall stick with what I know.

So lets start at the beginnings. Initially I signed up for the course in a state of desperation, I needed to find myself and my path. During the 3 month then leading up to the course I actually did a pretty good job of getting myself back in order, I was feeling much more myself, much more stable and this course was coming just at the right time, as I was starting to look for something to further my spiritual practises, to help me find harmony with the universe.

There were moments leading up to the course where I wondered what I had signed up for, would it be weird, uncomfortable, seedy? Would I find myself lost in a world far over my head? Would it be everything I had initially hoped?

Well let me just say here, I was not left disappointed. The actual Jade egg practise was discussed throughout the weekend but the actual practise was not until the third day afternoon, by which time we were completely familiar not only with the practise we were going to do, but with each other, with the situation and with ourselves.

Before we got to the egg we were thoroughly prepared. We had gone through other Taoist practises used to connect us with our bodies, we had grounded ourselves, meditated, practised the microcosmic orbit, we were open to all these new experiences and feeling great from them. We had discussed our bodies, how they feel, what they do, our moon times (menstruation), we had practised the ‘sipping’ which is the method used to take in your jade egg, we performed rituals to cleanse the jade egg and to ask permission to our bodies for acceptance.
We had spent time preparing. Mind,body and soul and we were ready.

jade egg promo pic.jpg.opt401x562o0,0s401x562

Don’t get me wrong there was a moment during the warming up for the egg where It suddenly hit me that we were 22 women all touching our jade gates in a room together, in some circumstances one would call this an orgy….but there was nothing seedy about it, it wasn’t ‘sexual’ in the traditional sense. Yes we had to stimulate areas to open up and get ready to take in the egg but having come to a complete understanding of our body’s, after connecting with them and harmonising, it wasn’t weird at all.

We were talked through the practise, instructed and of course we each had our skirts and blankets to protect our modesties. Not all of us completed the practise there and then, sometimes the body just says no and you must respect that, it is about practise, it is an ongoing journey and although we were all there together, offering support in our ‘sisterhood’, the journey itself is a very personal one and one in which you can only take the next step when it is right for you.

It was amusing when we were then told we would dance, the looks on our faces as we feared we would ‘lay’ our eggs right there on the floor…but none of us did and to be honest it would have just been a funny, shared moment if it had happened. The truth is it isn’t as foreign a thing as you would expect. Once you are wearing your egg, it isn’t just going to fall out willy nilly, you are stronger than you think in your jade gate and well equipped to keep your egg in quite comfortably. Now this is not to say that there will be times the jade egg will decide to remove itself. As with all crystals and indeed with your body, they know when it is time, and you will find when the time is right the egg will start moving towards coming out. Generally you feel this and can go remove it and carry on with your day. There are other times the egg isn’t ready to come out, or where your body isn’t ready to let go just yet and you may be wearing it a little while. This is not something t worry about, when the time is right the egg will always come out.

Initially as a learner you use thread or floss (NOT MINTY!) to tie through the holes in the egg for easy removal and peace of mind. Although it is easy enough to focus your muscles and…well…lay the egg.

The important part of the jade egg is consistency, practise and connection to the crystal every day is ideal. It is after all a healing crystal like those we use for chakra healing, meditations or just to carry with us or sleep with for comfort and help. They are powerful and a great aid for your life. Jade in particular is a very powerful and positive crystal and to be wearing it inside you is a great comfort and help to many many women. I will research further and go into specific jade properties in another blog.

I must say, if you are looking to get involved with the jade egg, that it is best done, initially at least, through a class/workshop such as the jade circle. It is a ritualistic practise which, if to be truly beneficial must be at least learned correctly. You mustn’t ever just force something and you must understand your body, the crystal, what you are looking for and how to program the egg, prepare yourself and connect with the energies you are going to be calling upon, the universe, the chi.

You cannot just buy and insert an egg and expect miracles, this isn’t a modern day medicine, some quick fix, which works instantly and universally.

The jade egg is part of a wider practise, a way of life and when done correctly in correlation with other practises, meditations and learnings, when done with respect and care to yourself and to the universe, when you are prepared and ready, it can be incredibly effective.
But as I said, you must do this properly. This is but one part of the jigsaw puzzle we call Taoism, alone it is nothing, but when placed in its correct place along with all the other pieces, It creates a beautiful picture and is worth all the time and effort used to find and put the pieces in place.


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